Today is my favorite holiday of the year… after Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Independence Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Martin Luther King’s Day, Labor Day, President’s Day, Veteran’s Day, Columbus Day… well, you get the point. 😉 I’m sure if I wasn’t single at the moment and had roses and chocolates sitting on my desk from someone “special” I would think otherwise. 😉
Don’t get me wrong. I love Valentine’s day. This morning I made sure to pull out the only red dress I have to wear to work. And I even started celebrating early this year. I had my first cup of mint chocolate chip ice-cream during lunch yesterday. My second cup… during my lunch, right now. 😉 I guess if you don’t get chocolates… you get ice-cream instead. At least that always works for me. 😉 Whoever said that Valentine’s Day is “single’s awareness day” sure got it down right. Every other day I’m single… today… well, I feel EXTRA single… if that’s even possible. 😉 Although I obviously wouldn’t mind being the opposite of single right now and “celebrating” out with someone other than my girlfriends tonight (although I love them dearly)… I’ve decided that one more year with ice-cream and girlfriends is more than ok. Maybe even two more, three more… or better yet… NO more 😉 Who knows? I sure don’t. Well… God certainly does… but He hasn’t been giving me any “clues” of when Prince Charming will be coming around. 😉
Recently I had one of my (very sweet and thoughtful) guy friends “encourage” me and tell me to keep on waiting and holding out for Mr. Right – and not “settling” just because I’m in some rush to get married. This almost made me laugh out loud because I’m not too worried about the settling part… I’m more worried about not settling at all. I’ve come to realize that young guys are not the only ones out there afraid of commitment or marriage… it kind of scares me too.. a little bit.
When I was thirteen “love” was all about the hearts, roses, chocolates, warm fuzzy feelings, fairy tales, and the “perfect” Prince Charming that would never disappoint me, hurt me, or be anything but perfect. I mean when WE would get married… we would for sure live in a perfect little “happily ever after” fairy tale world. We wouldn’t be like all the other “normal” couples that would fight over silly things… and have disagreements. Well, I’ve been out of delusional fantasy land for quite some time. Unfortunately. That was a pretty nice place to stay at. 😉
The reality is? Marriage is not perfect. My Mr. Right won’t be perfect. I’m definitely far from perfect. And life won’t all of a sudden become a fairy tale. Maybe it will be during the newlywed stage… but I hear that stage is over the second you get home from the honeymoon. 😦 If marriage was so easy there probably wouldn’t be a million books on this one subject – all attempting to make sense of it and help the oh-so-lucky people in it make the best of it. If it was perfect there probably would be no need for a family therapist or anyone at all to mentor people who are struggling with a not-so-perfect relationship. But books exist. Family therapist’s exist. And not so amazing marriages exist. And this reality has made this single period of my life a bit more.. tolerable.
A few weeks ago me and one of my best friends (who is getting married in a few months) decided we would pray for our husbands daily, based on a book that gives you specific things to pray for every day. And most of these specific things consist of praying for him to grow in a lot of areas in his life, and in his character, in his relationship with God and with people, as well as deal with the struggles that men have to deal with and honestly… the longer I pray for these specific areas in his life right now, the more it makes me realize how important it is for him to really work on all of these different things… and how if he doesn’t – well, marriage will be a bit more difficult.
I know that a man won’t become a leader overnight (which he needs to be as the head of the family), he won’t be able to financially sustain the family that he will be responsible for without some skills, knowledge, experience, education, he won’t be able to be a faithful and loving spouse if he doesn’t learn to be self-disciplined today…. And the list goes on and on…
And that list is the same for me. There are different areas of my life that I need to work on to prepare myself for my future husband. I’ve been asking God to show me those areas… and you better believe that He has been convicting me lately. (Don’t you just love getting your prayers answered?) 😉 There are also qualities and character traits I need to work on having in my life as well so that I can be the wife God calls me to be for my husband. And those things don’t develop in one day. This is also one of the reasons why I’ve decided to read and blog about the Proverbs 31 woman during the next couple of weeks. She is, after all – a prime example of a good, godly wife… and it will do me (and my future husband) good to follow in her footsteps.
Like I mentioned earlier… books exist to help marriages. Therapists exist to help husbands and wives who are struggling. And GOD exists to be in the center of it all. Although the idea of getting married to that one person is exciting to me… it also scares me, but I know that even though marriage is not heaven on earth and it won’t be like it is portrayed in fairy tales… God will be right beside me and my future husband when that time comes, and we’ll handle whatever He chooses to put in our way with His help. 🙂
As for right now? I’ll keep on praying for my husband. I’ll keep on working on myself. I’m not worried about not walking down the aisle in my pretty white dress tomorrow… or next year, because honestly, I would rather wait and have God prepare both of us for when we are ready to make that step in our lives. And when we’ll be ready? Only He knows. I would rather not rush into something that I’m not ready for to struggle through it more than necessary if I can just work on those areas in my life now that could possibly prevent those struggles from happening in the future. 🙂 So dear husband, wherever you may be out there… I highly doubt you are reading this, but if you are, well… don’t take your sweet time to get to me, but don’t rush either if you’re not ready yet… I can survive another Valentine’s day without flowers, teddy bears, and chocolates from you. 😉
Dedicated to my future husband… someday ♥