I don’t need your help…

on my ownWe live in a society where we are taught to be self-sufficient and independent.

Where the greatest story is “rags to riches” of how you managed to start with nothing and become something in this world… on your own.

When you are feeling down you put a plastic smile on your face and tell the world you’re okay because being real about what you’re going through would only make you look weak.

When you are feeling unwell you would rather suffer through it alone than ask someone else to step in and help.

Because strong people… they don’t need anyone’s help. No, they fight their battles on their own.

And that’s what I did growing up.

If I needed help I would never let anybody know.

I had to figure life out on my own.

My issues had to be dealt with without anyone else’s help.

I didn’t need anyone to take care of me. I had to learn to take care of myself first.

And it took me a long time to realize that putting up a front and trying to be strong on the outside when I was weak inside was not worth it.

It took me getting to the lowest of lows to realize that I no longer wanted to fight my battles on my own.

That maybe telling someone I needed their help was not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.

So I stopped trying to do it on my own.

Instead I ran to the One that I knew was ready and willing to help me.

The One who would hold me up and strengthen me.

The One who would take care of me and lead me through.

No longer did I rely on my own self-sufficiency, I relied on His sufficiency.

No longer did I need to be Miss Independent, instead I become Miss Dependant on Him.

Because He took me from being nothing to being something in Him.

And not only did He help me… but He taught me that I was never created to take care of just myself.

He surrounded with me with other believers for the sole purpose of caring for one another.

For bearing one another’s burdens when we grew tired and weary (Galatians 6:2).

For encouraging one another when life was hard and we felt discouraged (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

For sharing our resources with those who didn’t have as much as we do. (Romans 12:3)

So when life gets hard, when I don’t feel well, when I need someone to take care of me I don’t hide out and try to do it on my own.

I don’t pretend that I don’t need anyone’s help.

Instead, I run to the One who has can lift me from the lowest pit.

I lean on the One who can weather the most brutal storm.

I ask for help from the One who has always been ready to give me a helping hand.

And I ask for encouragement from my brothers and sisters who He has provided me with to do the same.

I don’t wait to hit rock bottom to ask for help. I ask God to help me every single day. You can do the same. He is ready and waiting to be the One that will take care of you when you can’t take care of yourself.

Be blessed! Anna… ♥

“Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.” Psalm 54:4

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30 thoughts on “I don’t need your help…

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  3. Anna, I have always felt blessed when a sister in Christ shares a prayer request with me… and I think that we don’t just rob ourselves when we hold everything in all the time. You are wise to encourage us to first run to the Lord. May we also run to a sister when He prompts us to.

    Blessings ~ Wendy


    • Amen to both! We most definitely rob both ourselves and the other person of an opportunity to connect on a deeper level and to encourage one another in our life and in our walk with Christ. It’s so good to have people in our lives we can turn to for support when we need it (and we all do once in a while). Hope you have a great day Wendy. Be blessed!


  4. This was awesome! So true Anna. It happens all the time which is why teens are the way they are to their parents and parents seem so disconnected with family nowadays. It’s a very serious issue. If we would all be brave enough to just pour our hearts out to each other without fear of regret, we’d have weights off our shoulders. But thank heavens God is here. He’s our go to person and we should lean entirely on him because he’s perfect and we don’t have to be ashamed to turn to Him or fearful of what He’ll do and say. Thank you for reminding us to be confident in God:) May you be blessed!

    ~Jay ♥


    • Thanks Jay! I agree with you, being open with one another and God is one of the best ways to get that weight off our shoulders! It does mean having to be brave and vulnerable at the same time and it’s much easier to just keep things hidden inside than be open about them in fear of rejection. But we know that God longs for us to run to Him so He can help us out and be our refuge and support during hard times. 🙂 Hope you have a great day. Be blessed!


  5. Excellent! Good words. I have been thinking about this a lot lately with Hebrews 3:13 & James 5:16. The hard thing for me is the terrible experiences I’ve had with betrayals and ignorant, inexperienced, narcissistic or well-meaning but insensitive reactions. It’s almost like people have very little experience in dealing with honest and vulnerable community. Such incredible and false-fronts are the norm and expectations in our churches that we can’t seem to accept the opposite. I had a former accountability partner betray my trust and take information shared in confidence and use it against me that ended up causing me to lose my job. So it’s very difficult to trust others because of this all.


    • “Such incredible and false-fronts are the norm and expectations in our churches that we can’t seem to accept the opposite” So true! It’s almost like we all have this unspoken understanding that we always need to look good on the outside no matter what we are dealing with on the inside. 😦 Sadly it turns many people away from church and believers because they can’t handle putting up the front every Sunday morning.

      If only people were more “real” and vulnerable others would feel accepted and like they fit in. After all, we are all broken sinners. No one is perfect no matter how they seem, and sometimes trying to seem perfect to others just keeps them from both God and other believers.

      I’m sorry to hear that your accountability partner betrayed you. That’s so horrible, and definitely not Christ-like. Being betrayed by someone close to you definitely makes it harder to trust others again but I know that there are people who do exist within the Christian community who are genuine in their faith and in staying accountable to one another and supporting each other through all phases of life. It may take time to find people to trust again but it’s not impossible!

      Wishing you the best of God’s blessings! May He surround you with loving, godly people that will show you what being a real, honest, and genuine believer and brother + sister in the body of Christ is all about!


  6. I come from a long line of strong women. It took until I was in my 40s to realize that I was wasting energy and spinning my wheels whenever I insisted that I could handle everything in my own strength.

    This is great advice! Thank you for taking the time to share.



    • Wasting energy is exactly what you do when you try to deal with everything without God’s (or anyone else’s) help! “

      “But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”- Isaiah 40:31

      This is one of my favorite scriptures from God’s Word. It’s so good knowing that all I have to do is run to God and He will renew me with His strength and I won’t get weary or tired no matter how much running around I do. 🙂 Our God is beyond amazing. He provides for all of our needs!


  7. Such a great message! So many people can relate this! You’re absolutely right, we live in a world where independence is valued and dependency is a weakness.
    “Miss dependent on him”- I love that 🙂


    • Thanks! It made me think of Kelly Clarkson’s song “Miss Independent” 😉 Being vulnerable about needing help is definitely not valued in our society but sometimes I think it takes a really strong person to show that they really may be weak inside at the moment.

      The wonderful thing is that we can be made strong in our weaknesses with Christ and He uses those vulnerabilities to strengthen us and glorify His name!


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  9. I can relate too well. 😦
    In what ways does God do the things you described. That’s where I have trouble. I have asked God for help, relied on Him (or so I thought), gone to Him when my spirit and body are crushed, and yet I don’t know if He has helped. I don’t see any changes…So just curious as what it looks like to you. I still continue to be obedient and continue in my walk, but it can be discouraging at times…


    • Honestly, I don’t think there is just “one way” that we can see it in our lives but for me personally I see it especially when I get really tired with life. Not the fact that it’s too hard or too bad but just that I get stressed out from all the running around and always doing one thing after another that I lose motivation to keep doing those things. And when I run to God and ask Him for help I can literally feel refreshed and renewed and ready to continue doing what He has called me to do within a few minutes or hours.

      Other times it happens when I’m feeling discouraged about something and I ask God to help me with it (especially when it’s at night) the next morning (or a little bit after) I have a new, better, positive, and faith-filled perspective about my life or the situation I am in. And I know it’s God’s doing because other then praying about it I never did anything on my own to change and the situation remained the same but my attitude towards it changed dramatically in a positive way. And where I once felt hopeless I begin feeling hope once again. And start seeing the light at the end of the dark tunnel that I wasn’t so sure existed anymore.

      I’ve definitely had times when I didn’t feel that God was next to me even though I believed that He was. I didn’t feel that He loved me even though I knew that He did. I didn’t see how I could possibly come out stronger out of a situation even though I knew that I would with Him. God doesn’t always automatically fill me with His peace and joy but during those times I learn to lean on Him even more and hold on to His truth about me and His promises for my life over my own emotions and thoughts.

      It is after all in the darkness that we grow in faith the most and sometimes God allows us to remain there a little longer so we can get a little stronger in our faith in Him.

      The bigger the battle, the bigger the victory, right? Sometimes all we can do is keep on walking and keep on believing because nothing shows God our need and love for Him more than when we trust Him in the darkness and when we keep on going when life gives us a million reasons to give up.

      May you stay strong in Him today! Keep on walking forward one step at a time. I have no doubt that He will come through for You!

      (Sorry for such a long reply… sometime I get carried away when I start writing) 😉

      Be blessed!


      • Thank you for the reply 🙂 It’s funny because just today, God showed up in a big way for me. He let me know that He is listening and He cares and I’m not alone. I am thankful He still hears my cries. I have been in the darkness of disease for a long time and I think I may have gotten a glimmer of light shining through. For that, I am thankful…


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  11. I can so relate to this! I learned a long time ago to only trust myself…never show weakness because weakness was frowned upon. Years after becoming a Christian I started to realize I can’t do it on my own. I need God and I need to be open to some trusted believing friends with my weaknesses. It wasn’t until my pride led to a fall that I began to put down my pride and start to open up. I still struggle with this at times, but I’m better than what I was. Thank you for this post!!


    • I definitely think that pride is one of the biggest reasons why people are always too afraid to ask for help. We don’t want to seem needy, or not have it all together like we want everyone to believe and then we don’t allow ourselves to let our guard down and seek the help that we need.

      I’m glad that you are doing better with it! I think it’s something we all struggle with but with God we can learn to lean on Him and the people He placed in our lives for that purpose instead of always trying to do it all on our own. Be blessed! 🙂


  12. So many likes, thank you and, Amen. When I started to read your post, I couldn’t see myself as refusing so because I wanted to be “strong”, I just thought I didn’t want it. Reading on— I get it.
    Thank you! 😀


    • I’m glad you “got it” 😉 I read a few of the other posts people wrote about this topic and realized that probably over 90% have the same mentality of never wanting to ask others for help when they need it as I did but I’m glad I learned that I don’t have to do it all on my own and that depending on others is a good thing not a bad thing. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by. Be blessed!


  13. You make a lot of sense here – I am somebody who is normally very self-contained – I rely on my own resources … and boy, do they become depleted at times 😦 I know that He is there for me so need to keep relying on him – but also that my true friends will also gladly lend an ear – which is one of the reasons that God puts us there for each other. Bless you – I’m glad I started this blog business and found yours.


    • Relying on yourself is definitely the easiest way to burn out in life! And you are right, your true friends will be more than happy to help carry your burdens for you. I know I’ve had friends who feel like they are an “inconvenience” if they ask for help but real friends want more than anything to be there for you when you need them.

      It’s so important that we realize that and are ready to receive and give support whenever it is needed (as God’s Word calls us to). I’m so glad I found your blog as well! Blessings to you! 🙂


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