I would never say it out loud.
I would never admit to it.
But deep down inside I believe it.
How do I know?
It’s quite simple – when things don’t work out according to my perfect little plan I try to “fix” the situation and make it work out on my own.
When God is taking a little longer than I think He should in answering certain prayers I take it into my hands and try to answer them in my own way the best I can.
When a door won’t open that I’ve been knocking on for much too long I knock even harder and longer and I’ll do anything to open it even when I know God wants it to remain closed.
When God puts a red light on the road I’m driving on I just drive right through it.
And slowly… instead of placing my prayers, my longings, and my plans into God’s hands I take them back from Him and try to make things work in my way.
On my own terms.
The way I think it should be.
Out of fear, frustration, and impatience I slide over to the driver’s seat of my life and I try to steer that wheel on the road I’m driving on.
Instead of sitting in the passenger’s seat and trusting God to take me where I need to go I try to take His place and go where I want to go.
I try to play “God” in my life.
Just like Abraham’s wife Sarah in the Bible.
God promised her a child and year after year she waited but he never came.
She already imagined how she would prepare his room for him.
How she would rock him to sleep in her arms as she sang soft lullabies before bedtime.
How she would remember his first smile, his first laugh, his first few steps, his first words.
How he would grow to be strong and full of faith just like his daddy.
She knew she would love him more than she had loved anyone before.
God promised her a child so she knew it would be just a matter of time before that little bundle of joy would be wrapped up and in her arms.
1-2 years maybe? 5 years at most? Her promised son would come, and with that hope for a new nation planned by God.
So she waited. One year. Two years. Ten years. Then twenty.
Each year dimming her hope a little more.
Making her wonder what went wrong.
Surely, God would send her the long-awaited son?
Her five-year plan was long gone.
Her bearing years were almost over.
She could have been a grandmother by now.
And yet she still didn’t have that promised son.
So she decided it was time to stop waiting on God and instead “help” Him along by taking it into her own hands and in doing so she would finally hold that baby boy in her arms that she waited for so long.
But instead of fulfilling God’s plan she only ended up getting in the way.
And sometimes we do the same.
We can’t stand the idea of falling behind on that plan of ours so when nothing seems to be happening we either give up or we take it into our own hands.
We get into the driver’s seat of our life and start steering into the direction we want to go.
And often times that shortcut we took ends up being more of a curse than the blessing we were hoping for.
Just like the baby boy Sarah had through Hagar was not on a blessing to her. (Genesis 21:9-10).
In the end she did have that baby boy.
Not the way she originally planned.
Not by her timetable.
Without her helping in any way.
The way God planned it all along.
Sarah’s story reminds me of another woman.
One in a similar situation.
Longing for a little bundle of joy.
Crying out to God year after year to open her womb.
Wondering when that time would finally come.
But the beautiful part about this woman’s story?
After pouring out her heart to God she left her desires and her needs in His hands.
She trusted Him to take care of her from there on. (1 Samuel 1:6-16).
This woman’s name? Hannah.
The woman who never gave up on God and the woman who never took things into her own hands.
And her story ended just like Sarah’s.
With that longed-for baby boy in her hands.
And it didn’t require her intervention for it to happen.
It didn’t require her getting into the driver’s seat.
All it required her was to trust God and let His story for her unfold.
It required faith in the midst of emptiness that God would one day fulfill.
Today… if you feel like you know better what you want in life and when you need it.
If you think it’s time to get out of that passenger’s seat because the scenery outside your window never seems to change and the red lights never turn green.
If you want to “help” God out in one way or another my challenge to you is this: stop and surrender.
Be a Hannah not a Sarah in whatever situation you are in today.
Surrender your hopes, your dreams, your desires into God’s hands.
Don’t try to make them happen on your own.
If it’s God’s will for you He’ll make it happen for you.
He’ll open the right door.
He’ll introduce you to the right person.
He’ll give you the green light.
But until that moment comes… keep on holding on.
Keep on trusting.
God knows what He’s doing even if you don’t.
If God doesn’t give you something you are longing for it’s not to punish you but to protect you.
Sometimes His answer is “yes”, sometimes it’s “no”, sometimes it’s “later”.
He delights in giving His children gifts.
If He’s withholding something from you today it’s because He is preparing something better for you tomorrow.
He will never give you what you’re not ready for and what’s not best for you.
Keep on trusting His timing and His purpose in your life.
Be blessed and walk with faith in Him! -Anna… ♥
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” – Proverbs 3:5-6
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