Last week I got my heart broken at a place I dreamed of for many years that my future husband would propose to me at.
It was unexpected and bittersweet, to say the least.
As I sat there at a loss of words to say all I could think was, “This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.”
Have you ever found yourself in that place before? You may have thought that this was finally “IT”, whatever “it” may be for you. An answered prayer. An open door. A dream coming true. But instead, that dream got shattered.
Well, let me tell you. It’s not a fun place to be. And I don’t wish it on anybody.
Although I’d rather not open my heart to the world about it, I can’t help but do so, because if there is even one more person facing a heartbreak of any sort at this moment who will be encouraged by this it will be worth it.
People around me say I’m staying strong and handling it well but I’m just going through it the only way I know how, with Jesus.
Because I have learned that you may lose a relationship, you may lose a job, you may lose a dream, but you will never lose Jesus. He is with you every step of the way. In my heartbreak and in yours. And that’s a promise I have been holding on to dearly the past few days.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. -Psalm 34:18
I have learned that when you are hurt or going through a hard time you are the most vulnerable to the attacks and lies of the enemy. And sometimes you need to do the complete opposite of what you feel like doing at the moment.
If you want to isolate yourself from others, make yourself go out with your friends.
If you want to lay in bed all day and be sad, go take a walk outside instead.
If you want to run from God and blame Him, run to Him and thank Him.
Don’t ignore your feelings or push them away. Facing them, processing them, and praying through them will only help you heal faster. But don’t let them steal your joy.
And if you must fall, fall into the arms of Jesus. If you need to cry, cry with your friends. Don’t try to go through this alone.
It will take time, it will take tears, it will take prayers. But you will move on.
This too shall pass.
Your prayer may remain unanswered at the moment, your dream may have been dashed, your relationship may be over, but your life is not. You may not know why things turned out the way they did, but you can trust God and if it wasn’t meant to be, it’s not His best for you.
And we all need to give ourselves a little bit more grace during the healing process.
When your heart gets broken or a person important to you is completely cut out of your life, you are not going to heal overnight.
You need to take it one day at a time, keep moving forward with your life, and do things that will help you such as: pray, read God’s Word, spend time with loved ones, go out in nature, journal, exercise, and make plans for the future to get excited about.
And as you keep moving forward, in time the pain will fade, your heart will heal, you will move on and be ready for the next chapter and new season God has in store for you.
This heartbreak is hard for my heart but it’s good for my soul because it brought me to my knees, and there is no better place to be. Maybe God did not orchestrate it, but He will surely bring good out of it.
“Pain and problems are opportunities to demonstrate your trust in Me. Bearing your circumstances bravely- even thanking Me for them- is one of the highest forms of praise. When suffering strikes, remember that I am sovereign and that I can bring good out of everything. Do not try to run from pain or hide from problems. Instead, accept adversity in My Name, offering it up to Me for My purposes. Thus your suffering gains meaning and draws you closer to Me. Joy emerges from the ashes of adversity through your trust and thankfulness.”- Sarah Young
It’s easy to thank God when He gives but I am reminded once again that God is just as faithful not only when He gives, but also when He takes away. When He answers how we want Him to, and when He doesn’t.
Right now, you may be in the middle of it all still, just like me. It’s okay to have doubts, fears, questions and pain. But know that with Jesus by your side you will get through it. My broken heart doesn’t have to break me, and it doesn’t have to break you.
You will be okay. And not just okay. You will be stronger, braver, and better because of it.
It’s tempting for me to rehearse every little thing that I did and every word I said in the relationship to figure out what went wrong.
But instead of rehearsing that, I choose to rehearse God’s truth and promises for me instead.
When the enemy tries to steal your joy, distract you, and make you focus on what you can’t change, use God’s Word as your sword, as your anchor, as your guiding light. There is power, life, and hope in His Word. As you spend time with Jesus in His Word joy will be restored and healing will take place.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” -Philippians 4:6-7
If you are in a relationship that just ended, don’t lose hope.
Hand your worries over to Jesus. Share your desires with Him. Lay your requests at His feet.
And don’t worry about what your future will look like now. God has wonderful things in store for you. You may be a little broken today, but you won’t be here forever.
“Every blessing doesn’t come to stay. Every relationship wasn’t meant to last. God will send people into your life for a season because you need them in your life for a season. And if they walk away don’t stand at the tomb of what used to be and cry about what was, because if you would have needed them for the future they would have stayed.
You have to know when people’s part in your story is over. If they walked away it’s no accident. Accept it as the will of God. Dry your tears. Do your dance. And keep going.”- T.D. Jakes
Just because you are not going to share your future with that person you thought you might share it with, doesn’t mean you won’t share it with anybody. God is not done writing your love story.
This is a hard chapter, but it’s not the end of your story.
It may be the end of that person having a part in your life, but it’s not the end of love in your life. Keep on praying and trust that God is in control. Your future is still going to be absolutely incredible, just with a different person by your side.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” -Proverbs 3:5-6
When things don’t make sense, trust God.
When hope seems far off, trust God.
When that dream didn’t come to pass, trust God,
When that person is gone, trust God.
Even with tears still on your face and pain in your heart, trust God.
You may not understand why it happened, but you don’t need to. Hold on to the truth that Jesus loves you and He is for you. He can heal every broken heart and bring to fruition new dreams. He can redeem even the deepest heartache and make something beautiful come out of the hardest seasons of your life.
Bittersweet endings and broken dreams are not the end of you. And they aren’t the end of me. God will turn your tears into dancing. He will work all things out together for your good.
And even good-bye’s, hard as they may be, can be good at the end.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” -Romans 8:28
I want to leave you with a beautiful song that I’ve been playing on repeat.
Listen to it. Sing it. Pray it. Whisper it. Proclaim it.
May it bring hope to your heart.
“When troubles come, and nights are filled with tears
I will fix my eyes upon the One
Whose perfect love, has conquered every fear
Hold me in Your everlasting arms
You are working all things for my good
When I cannot see it, God I still believe it
You are working all things for my good.”
If you are going through a hard time and need prayer, feel free to reach out to me (firstname.lastname@example.org). As your sister in Christ, I would love to pray for you. Much love -Anna… ♥