Dear single girl

christian single girl

I know today is your favorite day of the year.

There’s nothing you look forward to more than seeing everyone confess their love to each other all over social media.

That you just love walking into stores and seeing roses, chocolates and heart shaped balloons taking over the aisles.

That you just love the cliché things that people tell you during the holidays to help you feel better.

About how love comes when you least expect it.

About what a catch you are and how lucky some guy will be to have you.

And I know that you are tired of being a bridesmaid for the 158th time.

That going to weddings is just not your thing.

That you are sick of answering the questions people ask about that wedding ring that’s not on your finger yet.

That no matter how happy you are for your best friend who just met the man of her dreams, you have those nights when you cry to God and ask “why is that not me?

That you know all about “being satisfied in Christ” and the 500 reasons of why this season is such an amazing gift.

That you’ve already figured out your options for “Plan B” which include saving hundreds of lonely cats, becoming a nun in a 3rd world country, or just getting by each day trying to figure out what to do next.

I know that you already have your Ben & Jerry’s waiting for you in the fridge for tonight along with your stack of romantic chick flicks.

I know that you can’t wait for today to be over and for tomorrow to start.

I know how you feel because I’ve been in your shoes many times before.

But there’s also something I have learned over the years that has changed it all around for me.

And it’s the fact that I get to choose how I will live this season.

I choose whether I will embrace it and use the opportunities that come my way that I wouldn’t have otherwise.

I choose whether I will be bitter or whether I will remain hopeful.

I choose whether I will see things on the bright side and keep on trusting God for my life or whether I will keep on asking “why not me” and cry myself to sleep.

I choose whether I will look at others who are in love and be bitter that I don’t have that yet or I can choose to be content in the truth that God knows best and at the moment that’s not His plan for me.

I read so many blogs by girls who complain about their single years and it breaks my heart because that’s not the way life has to be.

You are the one who determines whether having a ring on your finger defines you.

You are the one who determines whether or not having a man by your side is what gives you worth.

You are the one who determines whether you will embrace this season of your life, or waste it foolishly.

I know it’s hard.

I know you have many unanswered questions and unfulfilled dreams.

I know you want someone next to you to spend your life with.

I know you may feel alone but singleness is only a lonely road to walk on if you make it so.

And my challenge to you is this: don’t allow it to be.

Don’t allow it to be the defining point of your life.

Don’t allow it to shatter your dreams and steal your joy.

Don’t allow it to make you lonely and bitter and mad at the world.

You don’t have to pretend that it’s easy or that you like it but you can embrace it, you can grow through it, and you can trust God in it.

Today, stores filled with heart shaped balloons and instagram updates of people receiving chocolates and roses don’t bug me.

I have no Ben and Jerry’s waiting for me at home tonight.

I have no reason to cry myself to sleep.

Because I know who I am in Christ.

And the fact that not having a man next to me doesn’t define me.

I know that just because I’m off on that timeline I planned in my head when I was 15 doesn’t mean I’m off on God’s.

I’m exactly where I need to be.

I know that it’s not a ring on my finger that determines how loved I am but a man that hung on a cross two thousand years ago.

I know that in Christ I am 100% complete.

And you can too.

Don’t be discouraged today just because life didn’t turn out like your 3rd grade fairy tale.

Don’t give up on yourself, on life, and on God because you got no roses sent to you today.

Instead turn to His Word and read John 19, the greatest love story ever told.

It’s the one about the man who left heaven to pursue you.

The one about the man who suffered to show how much you mean to Him.

The one about the man who died on a cross to spend eternity with you.

I don’t know about you… but that story alone is enough to convince me that I am worth more than my relationship status and the presence or absence of a wedding ring.

Today, stop focusing on what you lack and start focusing on what you have in Him: the greatest friend and love you will ever need.

Just because this chapter in your life doesn’t include Mr. Right just yet never forget that it’s just one chapter. You have many more to go before your story ends.

Trust God to write the one that’s perfect for you when the time is right… and today instead of indulging in ice-cream and fairy tales choose to celebrate the fact that you are complete in Him.

Be blessed and walk in love with Him!- Anna…♥

“Stop waiting for love and start living. There are many stories your life is meant to tell. Finding love is just one chapter.”- Mandy Hale

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27 thoughts on “Dear single girl

  1. Beautifully written. So glad to see a woman of God who is single and focused on Christ. Jesus defines us and not a relationship status.
    My dad was my Valentine for years, so this Valentines I jokingly asked my dad for a chocolate heart, he said that was my husbands job now lol. I think on this day many do focus on having that one special person in their life and they limit it to a boyfriend/husband, and fail to realize they have so many other people around them that God has blessed them with. 🙂


    • Amen! Dad’s are the best Valentine’s, you know they won’t break your heart. 😉 I agree with you… because we don’t have that special person in our life it’s easy to get lonely and start thinking we have no-one when in reality we are surrounded by tons of people who love us. I am grateful for my family and my friends and my church, and first and foremost for God. With Him, I never really feel all that alone. Whether it’s Valentine’s Day or any other time of year! 🙂


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  3. I loooooooove Valentine’s Day, even though I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’m glad I’m not the only non-bitter single person on the best day of the year!


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  5. AMEN! I remember this part of my life very well. When this day would remind me of how tired I was of waiting on God for my husband. But then, now that I have been married almost 5+yrs, it’s amazing the clarity that comes from the rear view mirror. It is SO much easier to see (from this view point) that life is very much like a garden with all kinds of vegetables (tomatoes, carrots, potatoes, kale… and the list goes on). A spouse only represents (one) vegetable in your garden. We have our educational goals, our purpose, our fitness goals, our career goals and so much more that goes neglected when we only tend to “one” vegetable. And once that chapter of marriage finally comes; we realize just how much opportunities we lost along the way sulking over this one vegetables (AND we have shortchanged our harvest). The harvest will be that much more abundant if we tend to all the vegetables in the garden than if we zero in on just one. Imagine all that we could bring into our marriages if we used this season that wisely!

    ps: I rrreally loved this: I know that it’s not a ring on my finger that determines how loved I am but a man that hung on a cross two thousand years ago. (This will still apply IN marriage)


    • Wow. That is such a great way of looking at it Marlene. It really can be easy for us to get so caught up with focusing on the one thing that we don’t have that we stop using our time wisely with the the blessings that we do have. It’s important to embrace this season because it has opportunities and blessings of its own that are sometimes no longer there when you are married. Thank you for the wise words! (I learn something new from you every week) 🙂 Hope you have a blessed weekend!!


  6. Amen to all of this! Glad to hear from someone who’s been there and knows how to make the best of it. I found myself laughing along at first especially when you mentioned the Ben and Jerrys 🙂

    How true it is what you said, “I know that just because I’m off on that timeline I planned in my head when I was 15 doesn’t mean I’m off on God’s.” God always has a plan and always has perfect timing. Just have to keep trusting and following Him!


  7. Pingback: A Belated Valentine | God Gazing

  8. Thank you for this post Anna! I know I have to embrace this season of my life. I have to celebrate God’s love and remind myself I am %100 complete in Christ! I hope you had a blessed Valentine’s day!


    • Hi Kalah! It’s good to hear from you again! The season of singleness is what you choose to make of it and isn’t it so much better to cherish it and embrace it rather than hate it and do everything we can to change it? I’m so glad that God is showing you that you are 100% complete in Him and helping you celebrate this time in your life. 🙂 Be blessed!!


  9. Happy belated Valentine’s Day, Anna!! Great post! I am with you 100%! I learned that I too can celebrate Valentine’s Day rather than bemoaning in bitterness because I don’t have a man. I redeem the day by sharing the love of Christ! Valentine’s Day used to make me depressed but not any longer. I know I am complete in Him! I can look for special ways on this day to share the love of Christ with others and there I can find a different excitement over the holiday. Singleness is truly a gift! Thank you for your encouraging post! Blessings!


    • Thank you!! That’s fantastic that you take time to love on other’s on Valentine’s day! It’s definitely one of those holiday’s that can make people who don’t have a significant other in their life feel more lonely and any kindness and love they receive from others is such a blessing to them. I’m so glad that God is using you to be the one to share that love with others!! Be blessed and keep on being a blessing to others!!


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