“My scars don’t define me”

dear broken girl, broken girl, self harm, depression,You know who I am talking about. You feel broken and worthless. You weren’t always like this. You didn’t always have cuts on your body. You didn’t always skip meals or purge them up. You didn’t always avoid mirrors and scales like they were plagues.

But someone hurt you.

I know they did because I’ve been hurt too.

I know what it’s like to be bullied.

Every single one of my friends would turn on me and call me horrible names, from “fat” to “stupid” and many that were much worst.

I would tell others but they didn’t believe me and if they did they thought I was being dramatic about it.

So, who hurt you? Who is the reason behind the scars on your body and the pain in your heart?

Was it family, friends, or maybe just people you knew?

I know how you feel.

I’ve been in your shoes before.

I was in deep, addicted to anything that would help cover up my pain.

You may have tried to stop but couldn’t as people continued to hurt you with their words.

Please put down the blade.

You feel like you need it, but you really don’t.

And please don’t skip meals and purge.

I’ve been there many times before.

I could go days without a single morsel of food in my body. I would tell myself and others that I wasn’t hungry, but I was. And when I would finally eat to please the people around me, I wouldn’t keep it down. I would rather throw it all back up just to feel like I was skinny, which in my mind meant that I was pretty.

You think you’ll be more beautiful because you’ll be skinny but do you know know how unhealthy it is?

That the very thing you think will make you more attractive to the people around you is the thing that can kill you. But do you even care?

A size zero is not beautiful. Skinny doesn’t always mean pretty, remember that.

You are beautiful no matter what anyone says.

You are loved even when you don’t feel it, even when you think nobody cares.

Three of my friends self-harmed themselves and it wasn’t until they finally opened about the past that they had hidden so well that I finally knew.

Often times it’s so easy to think you are alone in this, but you are not.

There are so many people out there just like you, hiding behind perfect smiles.

Never forget that you are never alone and that you have someone who cares.

You have a Heavenly Father who knows you personally.

He knows every little detail of your life even before you were born.

He sees your tears and He sees your pain and He is waiting with open arms to comfort you, heal your heart, and give you strength to face one more day (Psalm 139:13-16).

Do you ever just want this all to end?

To recover?

To wake up in the morning and turn your hurt into prayers rather than into bruises on your arm?

To not allow words that people say tear you apart from the inside out?

To not skip meals just so you can look at yourself in the mirror?

First, you begin by having the desire to.

And remember, that it’s not going to be easy.

You might relapse, but that’s okay.

With God’s help you can try again.

Remember that one cut is never one cut, one skipped meal is never one skipped meal.

It begins with one… and ends up being so much more.

My best friend once asked me why I wanted to stop self-harming if it felt so good and I said “Because I know I have to. It’s dangerous and could kill me, and I have no right to harm myself despite the absolute hell I’m going through”

He came back with one of the hardest things I have ever heard, though I needed to hear it.

Dangerous? Well yeah. Maybe you could get an infection or maybe it could be a gateway to suicide or something, but what I’m aiming at is it’s the same reason excessive drinking is wrong. Same reason lust and adultery are wrong. The Bible says that your body is a temple for the Holy Spirit. You have absolutely no right to harm it.”

Let that sink in.

The Bible says we should not cut ourselves. (Deuteronomy 14:1-2)

Your body is a temple.

It’s a dwelling place for God.

That same friend once told me that my wrist is not mine to cut.

My body isn’t mine to abuse because I am God’s daughter.

Never say your body is your own because it isn’t.

Next time you are tempted to hurt yourself or purge or not eat remember that.

You’re a child of the One true King.

That’s all that matters in the end.

When you hear the little voices in your head telling you to skip one more meal or to cut yourself rebuke them with Jesus’ name and know that you are not fighting this battle alone.

 God is with you every step of the way.

Today I am a warrior.

I am a survivor.

Five months clean.

 What should have killed me only left at a scar and made me stronger.

My scars will always be a part of me, but they do not define me.

They are on my stomach and on my arms but that’s okay.

Jesus had scars on His hands and feet and those scars cover mine.

It is by His wounds that I am healed every day.

And you can be too.

Stay strong and remember how beautiful you are.

I have this written on my mirror “This can’t define you if you don’t let it” and “Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect” (Demi Lovato)

Recovery isn’t easy but it’s worth it.

Here are some Bible verses that really helped me through my difficult times:

Psalms 8:3-4 – 1 Peter 3:3-4  – Song of Songs 4:7 – Exodus 14:14 – Psalms 71:20-21

 Colossians 1:16-17 – Psalm 147:3-6 – 1 Peter 5:7-9 – 1 Corinthians 10:13

Take it one day at a time with Jesus and allow Him to begin by restoring your pain and healing your scars

Just like medicine is to a broken body, He is the healer to the hurting heart.

Run to Him and allow Him to take care of you.

Love,

The girl who God made whole again.

[Sidenote]: This was written by a wonderful reader (who wishes to remain anonymous) but wanted to share her story and encourage anyone is going through anything she has went through.

If you are at the lowest of lows please remember that you are NEVER alone and that this is not a battle you fight alone. With Jesus you will always have hope for a better tomorrow and a reason to get up every morning.

Make sure to find a group of people you trust who can support you and encourage you during this time and feel free to email me at any time, I would love to pray for you and encourage you.

You can overcome and be a survivor just like this girl. Never give up the fight. With much love-  Anna… ♥

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still” – Exodus 14:14

[Image creator unknown. Please respond if you know the author so credit can be given.]

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27 thoughts on ““My scars don’t define me”

  1. Anna, I just realized you linked to my blog in your sidebar. Thank you SO much! I just read several posts and appreciate your willingness to talk about the hard things. Your blog has some powerful messages that are exactly what women need to hear! 🙂

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    • Thanks Clarissa! I’m so glad I stumbled upon your blog this week. I’ve been enjoying read all your posts and look forward to reading more of the wisdom and insight that God puts on your heart. 🙂 Be blessed!

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  2. Bless your heart, Anna! And bless you in the work you do to reach out to others who share a similar pain. You may know “secretangel” here. If not, check her blog out. I don’t have the link handy, but you two share in similar work…

    Steven

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  3. I tried to withhold from commenting, but the comments are just so amazing. I love that my post has encouraged others. I cannot thank Anna enough for her patience with me as I wrote this. It is often hard to talk about but once you hear how it helps one person, it makes it easier. I have both a bracelet and a necklace that say “HIS scars are covering ours” (bracelet courtesy of the friend mentioned in the article). I wear my necklace daily to remind me of the love and compassion God has shown me. I will always have the scars and the painful memories but it helps knowing people are there for me and they care. In a few years I will be going to college away from home for worship leadership and youth counseling. I will always be able to say “look what God brought me through at such a young age”.

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    • Thank you for sharing – this was ruggedly beautiful and I pray many are helped. I posted something yesterday which similarly reflects my past pain and the self-indulgent harm in which I engaged – the point being that the Lord never stopped covering me throughout it all. I am happy to say I came through it all and give God all the glory to this day! Thanks again.

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    • I’m so excited that you’ll be going to college soon, I know that your testimony will continue encouraging and bringing hope to many girls around the world. Never stop using your voice. Thank you for sharing it on here!

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  4. I love friends who gently guide us into God’s truth (it is the truth that sets us free). Usually people scatter and mark us a ‘lost cause’, but glad for the friend who reminded you that “your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit”. And speaking of friends; what a friend we have in Jesus–who came to set the captives free.

    Thanks for allowing this guest post Anna! This is truly what it’s all about. Beauty for ashes. Strength for fear. Gladness for mourning. Peace for despair!

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    • Amen Marlene! Jesus is the greatest friend we can ever have! How comforting is it to know that we have the creator of life itself by our side every single day? With Him we can conquer everything that comes our way!

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  5. Jesus had scars on His hands and feet and those scars cover mine.

    Wonderfully liberating words and so very, very true.

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    • I totally agree. We all have scars of some kind although they are not all visible. But whether those scars are physical, mental, or emotional Jesus’s scars will always cover them and make us whole again.

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  6. I want to scream, “Yes! Yes! Yes!”
    I’m so happy to hear another story of recovery, and I’m cheering your friend on. Keep sharing. Keep speaking the truth. As tough as it is to put ourselves out there, we have to do it for our brothers and sisters who are still trapped.

    I’m 7 years in recovery from depression, PTSD, and a 20-year eating disorder. I had a profound spiritual experience with Jesus and he delivered me from my addiction. Completely. I couldn’t stop on my own. I tried and failed thousands and thousands of times on my own. I didn’t know why I was compelled to destroy myself, but later in recovery I discovered that I had deep spiritual wounds from childhood that were fueling my addiction. Once those wounds were healed, and I was able to experience who I really am to Christ, I was freed. And I haven’t struggled with food since – not a single moment.

    My prayer is for the person reading this post right now who’s struggling with addiction/self-harming. You don’t have to struggle your whole life. You were created by Love for Love. Freedom is possible for you. I pray you jump into recovery and let God lead you into healing.

    XO
    Thanks for sharing, Anna.

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    • I’m so happy to hear both my friends and your story because they are such a HUGE testimony of how loving God is and the fact that there is absolutely no addiction, no struggle, and no pain He cannot help anyone overcome with His help.

      It’s so powerful to know that when we can’t fight our battles on our own anymore and when we feel like giving up He is right there to help us get back up and to fight for us.

      May you continue to share your story always and encourage everyone who has went through what you did Lori. You are truly an inspiration and a voice of hope to so many broken people in this world. Be blessed!

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  7. What a courageous and beautiful friend to share with us her story. I hope that sharing this helps someone else as it has me, true love and inspiration are the best gifts we can share. Thank you both for sharing such beautiful gifts. 🙂 Joe

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    • I’m so glad that my friend’s story encouraged you and anyone else who was ever in her shoes. It’s not easy to be transparent about going through such deep pain but sometimes the only way to help others heal in their own pain is by opening up and being vulnerable. I’m glad she was able to do that. 🙂 Hope you have a blessed day Joe!

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