Some friendships aren’t forever

Image via.airIt’s amazing how a total stranger can walk into your life and within a week, a month, or a year you couldn’t imagine living a day without them in it.

And then it’s just as amazing that a friendship that took a decade to build can just crumble and never be the same and all that remains is dusty photographs and old memories and that friend that was once so dear to your heart becomes a stranger once again.

If there is anything I’ve learned about friendship over the years it’s that you never know what will happen when a person first walks into your life.

You never know if that person will become your best friend or just an acquaintance.

And you never know how long they will stay or on which fateful day they’ll walk away.

You don’t know if you should trust them with your heart, mind, and soul and then regret it one day when they leave and you have to let them go.

You just don’t know.

I used to hate the uncertainty of people who come and go during different seasons of my life.

I’d keep my walls up high, never daring myself to be too open, too vulnerable, share too much of myself with someone not knowing if they would even stick around till the end.

What’s the point of creating new friendships and relationships when you don’t even know if they will last?

What’s the point of sharing life with someone for just a season only to have them leave at the end without looking back?

Those were the questions I wrestled through in my mind many years ago as I faced a new prospect for a friendship or relationship.

And the question in my mind was always the same: “Should I or should I not step into this… and how will this end?”

I remember during my young teenage years we held a Missionary Bible School at our church over the summer and there would be over 40-50 people coming from all over the states to this school.

Every summer it was the same story.

I would meet tons of awesome people my own age. People that went from being strangers to friends in a short span of time.

We’d get to know one another, bond with one another, go on fun trips together, have amazing times of prayer and fellowship together, grow in Christ together… and then lo and behold, their three months were over and back to their homes they’d go and with them went that friendship that we had so carefully built.

We’d stay in touch for a little bit but then with time, that friendship slowly slipped away.

Nine months later summer came along again and with it came a new group of Bible School students to meet.

New friendships to build.

New memories to make.

Repeat that for a few years and it starts getting old.

A few years ago when one group came I was no longer even excited to meet them.

What was the point of building new friendships that wouldn’t last past the following three months?

But then I remembered my friends from the years before… the friends who’s faces and names all blend together in my mind.

I remember the good times we had.

The memories we made.

The things I learned from them during that short period of time that they were in my life and I realized… it was worth it.

It was worth it to build those friendships that didn’t last.

To make those memories that might soon be forgotten.

To share life with new people, even if it was for just a short period of time.

Each friend I made taught me something special and brought something new into my life.

Each friend influenced me in one way or another, sometimes in a big way, sometimes in a small way.

And whether or not those friends would stay in my life in the future didn’t make such a difference to me anymore.

They played an important role in my life during that moment and if that’s all the time God let me have them for then it was worth it.

I’ve come to learn that some people are meant to stay in your heart, but not in your life.

Some people come into your life and stay for good.

Others just stop by like a timely guest, never overstaying their welcome, leaving before you get too comfortable.

And I’ve come to terms that it’s not the end of the world to have people in your life for just a season.

That’s just the way of life.

Some people in my past that influenced me greatly and that I couldn’t imagine not always holding a special place in my life I have not seen in days, months, and years.

I have learned to just be grateful for the times that we shared in the past.

And it has also gave me a fresh perspective and makes me appreciate my present.

After all I will never know how soon a friendship I thought would be “forever” will just end.

I don’t know how soon some people will just slip away from my life whether for a period of time or for good and I need to enjoy the people in the moment that I have instead of wish for the people in my past to regain that role in my life and take up the space in my heart that they no longer have.

People come.

People go.

But the time they have shared with you and the lessons they have taught you will leave an imprint on your life and in your heart forever.

Never be too scared to step into a relationship because of the fear of the unknown and because you don’t know if it will last forever or one day come to an end.

The difference they make in your life will be worth it.

The truth is you will never know exactly how a friendship with someone will unfold the moment they step into your life.

And you won’t know how long you have with them before their time is up.

Sometimes you get them for forever.

Sometimes you get them for a season.

So learn to appreciate them, love them, and build memories with them but also learn to hold them loosely, after all you don’t know when it’ll be time for you to let them go.

And never run after anyone who is walking away because maybe they are no longer meant to stay.

Thank God for the relationship you had and the lessons you learned along the way but don’t keep on hanging on to people who are no longer there.

Even if the relationship didn’t last forever it was not a waste because it taught you lessons that will last a lifetime.

Close that door and start making room in your heart for someone else to walk in – because when you are ready and the time is right God will send a new friendship your way.

“Don’t worry about the people in your past, there’s a reason they didn’t make it into your future”

Be blessed and remember to cherish your old friendships as well as be open to new ones. Have a blessed day! Anna… ♥

God knows who belongs in your life quote

[Image creator unknown. Please respond if you know the author so credit can be given.]

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16 thoughts on “Some friendships aren’t forever

  1. Stumbled upon this post today at just the time that I needed it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences on this matter. I am struggling with trying to hold onto a relationship that both of us thought was going to be forever. Both of us thought we understood God’s plan but then suddenly everything went topsy-turvy and nothing made sense anymore. I’m really being stretched to rely fully on God and trust in His perfect plan. If I’m meant to let this relationship go then I know He will give me the strength to do that. I loved how you said “some people are meant to stay in your heart, but not in your life.” That is so hard to accept but I know that it’s true. Thank you so much for the encouragement that I got from this post. God bless! 🙂

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    • Hi Sarah! I’m glad you came across this post at a time when you needed it. Growing up I always had this idea that all friendships and relationships were meant to last forever and the reality is that it’s impossible and not true. Unfortunately, even relationships with people we can’t imagine living life without sometimes come to an end and we have to accept the fact that maybe that relationship we believed was meant to last forever was really only meant to last for a season. God alone knows who belongs in our lives and for how long and you can trust Him with this relationship you are letting go of knowing that whatever happens is for the best even if at the moment it hurts. May God help you during the letting go process as you move on into a new season in life. Be blessed!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Anna.
    I made a decision about a friend of mine. We have been friends for a long time but our friendship has been dying. I asked God why it was happening. I still have feelings for her. It just didn’t make sense. Anyway, yesterday I asked God to take the feelings away. After being friends for about 10 years I realised I need to let go. So with all that going on, today I came across your post, this post. I needed to hear this. Now I know what I have been doing.
    I have been running after a relationship that is meant to be over and because of that it has caused pain. I have struggled to let go!
    I know what I am to do now. Close the door. I learned a lot from my friend when they were still here. But that season is over and as hard as it is its time to let go!!! Thanks….

    Rolain

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    • Hey Rolain, I’ve been there myself more than once. Wanting to hold on to a relationship that I knew didn’t have much of a future left. The best of friendships are the ones that last throughout all seasons of life but I have learned that this will not be the case for all of them. Letting go is never an easy step to take and process to go through but sometimes it’s what needs to be done so that both people can move on freely into new seasons and relationships in their life.

      May God help you as you let your friend go and open new doors for new friendships and relationships to be built. Blessings to you!

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  3. Great insights here, Anna. I’ve always had problems with vulnerability and intimacy and trust, often cautious with lots of walls up, like you said you were. But I learned a few years back that if I let God hold my heart, I don’t have to worry about giving it away to others. And if my love is connected through God, then no separation from others can separate me from love. For He holds my heart. This revelation totally changed my life in more ways that I could possibly describe. And another thing your post make me think of is, imagine all the friendships we’ve made over our lifetime, going into eternity together! Do we really lose anyone in the end?
    Blessings.

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    • Hi Mel! What a great point you made – even the friendships that fade away in our lifetime never truly go to waste because with Christ that friendship really will last forever once we go to heaven. And I totally agree with you, if you allow God to be in the center of all your relationships and the one who determines which people we allow in and out of our life during different seasons the easier it is to open up and trust knowing that there is a reason for every relationship God brings into our life no matter how long it will last. Thanks for your insight and words of wisdom (as always!) Be blessed!

      Like

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