Patience 101. Faith 200. Trials 401. Humility 302. Perseverance 203.
Why I’ve been going through these courses, I haven’t quite figured out yet.
I don’t remember ever signing up for them.
I don’t remember asking God to add me to the roster for any of these particular classes.
But I have learned that when it comes to these things no registration is required.
No entrance fee is necessary.
God decides it’s time to teach you a few things in life and off to class you go.
Whether you choose to or not.
Whether you like it or not.
He teaches, you learn, and then you get tested.
In all kinds of ways.
And when one test is over… you’re on to the next one.
Unless of course you fail.
Then you get to repeat the test again.
Or the course.
Two weeks ago I found myself sitting right in front of a dead end sign.
After driving around in circles for an hour with absolutely nowhere to go.
My worship music playing softly.
Just crying out to God.
And as I sat there at that dead end I felt like that was it.
I could not go one more step.
I couldn’t handle one more test.
I didn’t know if I was strong enough to move on to the next course.
I wanted to call it quits.
I felt like I was being stretched in every direction possible. Like God was picking me apart piece by piece, showing me little by little every dark spot in my life.
Every tiny thing that stopped me from being the person I wanted to be.
And I had enough of it.
I had not only reached a physical “dead end”, I felt like I had reached a spiritual dead end as well.
A place where I didn’t know which direction to go anymore.
A place where everything was pretty dark and lonely.
A place that I wanted to run far away from.
As I sat there in the dark trying to grasp to any hope I could find while reciting encouraging scriptures from God’s Word I couldn’t help but think “Why, God? Why me? Why now? I don’t think I can hold out any longer. I don’t know if I can handle the next thing coming my way, I think I’m ready to call it good.”
And as I sat there, one discouraging thought after another running through my mind I could softly hear God speaking to my heart amidst my rushing thoughts and my unyielding emotions
I could hear Him say, “Anna… I never asked you to battle alone. On your own you won’t overcome the temptations coming your way. On your own you’re not strong enough to bear your burdens. On your own you won’t be able to endure the trials set before you.
But you are not on your own. I AM with you and I will never leave you.”
All of a sudden it all became crystal clear to me.
I know God is with me always.
I know He’ll never leave me or forsake me.
I know how to recite all the right scriptures to help get me through any storm, but for some reason it seemed like my vision was clouded by my overwhelming emotions, by my wrong thinking and I was living like the battles were my own to fight and the times of testing were my own to go through.
I had somehow slowly let the lie that I was supposed to do it all on my own slip into my mind.
And it took coming to that “dead end” to help me realize that the only reason I ended up there was because I tried so hard to do it on my own when all along I should have been depending on God to help me come out strong.
One of the biggest and most destructive lies you can let yourself believe is that you have to do it all on your own.
Because on your own you’re the weakest.
You’re the most vulnerable.
You’re the easiest to bring down.
But God never asked you to go through life on your own.
He doesn’t allow storms to come into your life only to leave you in the middle of them to battle by yourself.
He promised that He would be your strength when you don’t have the strength left to take one more step.
To be your Rock to lean on when you can’t go on any longer.
To be your provider when you have come to the end of yourself.
To remind you that you are His precious child and He’s got it all under control even when it feels like it’s all falling apart.
Yes, on my own I am a weak, sinful, and hopeless human being.
But I am not on my own and neither are you.
On my own I would be stuck at a dead end every day of my life.
But I am learning to stop doing it on my own.
Because my God is with me and He is greater than my deepest fears, my biggest failures, my hardest struggles and in Him alone will I find victory for any test, trial, or temptation that will come my way.
God Almighty is by your side.
He will fight for you.
He will help you overcome things you would never be able to conquer on your own.
He will help you be victorious over everything you have to face today.
Don’t let yourself reach a dead end to realize that you were never meant to do it all on your own.
Be blessed and walk strong with God! –Anna… ♥
“Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand.” -Psalm 73:23