When love walks away

Image via.broken hearted girlYou’ve already planned all the details to your “big day” in your head.

From the dress to the colors to the decoration.

As the date draws closer you get more and more excited for the day you’ve been dreaming of your whole life to finally arrive.

The day you marry the man you love and want to spend the rest of your life with.

Except that a few weeks before the wedding he calls you out of the blue and says he doesn’t want to go through with it.

He thought he loved you but he didn’t.

Your heart is shattered, your dream comes crumbling down, and you remain alone, heartbroken, and confused.

How could this have happened to you?

How could you heart be so full of love, so full of joy, so full of anticipation one day and then in just a moments time it’s filled with pain, with questions, and with sorrow as your world turns upside down?

How could the man you thought you would spend forever with just call it quits and walk away?

And where is God in all of this?

The story may seem dramatic.

But it’s a variation of so many different stories that I have had one girl after another email me about.

Stories of heartbreak.

Stories of loss.

Stories of pain.

Each one of them has a different story, but the ending is the same.

Whether it was a cancelled engagement, a painful break-up, or the love that never came.

It’s a story of a girl in love until the day her heart breaks in a million pieces because that love decided to walk away.

When I hear your stories my heart breaks a little with yours.

I wish I could give you a cookie-cutter, perfect answer of why the man you loved walked away.

I wish I could take your tears away when you cry yourself to sleep every night wondering what went wrong.

I wish I could wave a magic wand and make all of your pain go away.

But that’s not going to heal your heart.

It won’t answer your questions.

It won’t bring him back.

And it won’t make everything okay.

But there are a few things I do want to tell you.

Things I want you to hold onto during your tearful nights and your lonely days.

First, it’s not your fault that things turned out the way they did.

There’s many things you can control in this life but you can’t control how another person thinks, acts, or feels.

Don’t for a minute think that you did something wrong, because even if you did, if the man truly loved you he would have worked it out with you not walked away.

Second, it’s hard to believe it at the moment but God loves you and He always has and always will only allow things to happen in your life that are for your best.

Even if at the moment it hurts.

Even if at the moment the last thing you want to do is to run into His arms and cry out to Him for help.

Why He allowed someone in your life for just a season instead of the lifetime you hoped for I don’t know.

But God thinks the man belongs in your past now and not in your future.

He has something else in store for you and for some reason he won’t belong in it.

Even if he seemed perfect.

Even if you thought everything was falling into place.

God didn’t allow him to walk away to punish you but to prepare you for something else.

He loves you enough to remove anyone from your life that doesn’t align with His purpose for you and it’s up to you whether you will trust Him enough to know that this heartbreak, as painful as it is at the moment, is for your best.

That even though you don’t have that man next to you today to hold your hand, you will always have the man next to you that holds your heart, and He won’t give yours away to anyone that isn’t your “forever”.

Sometimes God allows heartbreaks to draw us closer to Him.

To give us an opportunity to trust Him in the valleys of our life and to have faith in the unknown future that lies ahead.

This chapter of your life is full of questions and pain but never forget that it’s just one chapter.

It’s not the end of your story.

And every day you get to choose whether you will continue re-reading what happened in the past or turn the page and step forward into the future with Him.

And remember that it’s okay to take your questions to God.

It’s okay to be upset.

God doesn’t expect you to pretend you’re fine when you’re not.

He can take your questions, your confusion, and your pain.

He wants you to run to Him and hand all of it over to Him.

He wants you to let everything that’s on your mind and heart out.

He is a loving father who is there to listen, to comfort, to wipe those tears away and to bring joy, hope, and peace back into your life again.

It is in the hardest moments of your life that He is the closest. (Psalm 34:18)

It’s when you think He’s the farthest away that He is standing right there with arms open wide, ready to comfort you and lead you on your way.

And to quote Bianca Juarez Olthoff and Mandy Hale:

“Never give up. Ugly endings can lead to beautiful beginnings. And sometimes the most beautiful chapters of your life will be written following the most broken ones”.

Your broken heart won’t heal overnight.

Your questions will still remain.

But today you can trust that God has a better plan.

And in time your tears will dry, your heart will be whole once again, and the future will look bright and hopeful because you know you are walking it with Him.

God will never leave you brokenhearted and alone to fend for yourself.

Turn to Him when the ground underneath you is shaking and He will hold you still.

Surrender the boy and the plan you had in your head of your future with him and trust that if that wasn’t God’s plan for you then there’s something else He has in store for you because He isn’t finished with you yet.

Life will go on.

Maybe slowly at first.

Maybe with shaky steps and tears still in your eyes.

But you will learn to love again.

You will have hope again.

You will have joy again.

And the heartbreak will just be a memory in your distant past.

A memory of lost love… and a memory of found hope in Christ once again.

Keep holding on to Christ, when it’s the darkest is when you need Him most. He will help you start a new chapter with Him. Be blessed. –Anna…

 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” -Jeremiah 29:11

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21 thoughts on “When love walks away

  1. My fiancé broke up with me last night been in a long distance relationship almost 2 years in the final stages to get my fiancé visa so we could get married and live together we live in different countries and I’m …. :,-( I wish I could take my heart out for a while til the pain stops literal heart aching. I dont know where to go from here I haven’t even told my parents just my girl friends . Your post was more than very encouraging I was searching for words of hope and I found them so I thank the Lord for using you to give us broken hearted Christian women hope and encouragement I look forward to reading more of your blog

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    • I’m so sorry to hear that Patricia 😦 May God give you the strength, joy, and peace you need to get through this time of healing and may you never stop trusting Him to get you through and to help you get stronger because of it. Be blessed!

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  2. Anna, I just got broken up with and seriously this has been one of the most helpful things I have read. I just wanted to say thank you for writing this and giving me some guiding help and hope when I needed it!

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    • Hi Lauren! I’m so glad this post was encouraging to you during this time in your life. I pray that God will heal your broken heart and show you how deep His love is for you and how great His plan is for your future now more than ever before. Cling on to Him tight and He will see you through until the very end! Be blessed!

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  3. Anna, This is not my circumstance at this time, but it has been in the past many years ago.  Thank you for your words of truth to anyone going through this hurt and disappointed. To God be the glory for his perfect plan for each of his children.

    Thanks again,    Jackie

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  4. Hi Anna, I just wanna thank you for writing this post. I have just cried so hard while reading it. I know that God is Good and He is always Good but Im trying very hard to believe that one day I will be able to love again. Im broken and till the extent of my breaking point. I know He will heal my heart again and whatever it may be, I pray that it won’t take too long. I can’t wait to stand a new chapter soon.

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    • Hi Eu, I’m sorry to hear that you are going through a heartbreak right now but I know that God isn’t only a healer of broken bodies, but also a healer of broken hearts and He will not only help you heal from the pain of the relationship that ended but also give you hope and faith for a better future with Him. I will pray that He will comfort you during this time and prepare you for a new chapter with Him. Be blessed and keep on walking strong with Him!

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  5. Great post Anna!

    I recall from the movie Bruce Almighty that though Bruce wanted to reconnect with his girlfriend, God would not allow him to interfere with free will. We can love people with all our might, yet they still can reject that love or walk away. The same with God. He loves perfectly and people reject Him daily. It’s not super comforting when we are hurting, yet it’s something I cling to. People don’t always love us…it’s a part of life that requires the most comfort. Luckily the Holy Spirit is the Comforter. Once again great post!

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    • As can I! 🙂 Heartbreaks are no fun but they have a way of softening our hearts, help us be compassionate to others going through the same thing, and make us depend on Christ, and for those reasons alone they are worth it!

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  6. Hi Ann,
    I have been following your blog for a while and have been truly blessed by it. All of your blogs have helped me but none as much as this one. My husband divorce in November of 2009, He later informed me he had a baby with another woman (she was pregnant while he was still my husband) and that he would marry her. My children prefer to be with him and not me. They now live with him after four years of me trying to make them love me and want to stay with me. I was in so much pain for so long and just recently have begun to come out of the pain and fog that I have been living in since the divorce. I felt like God favored him over me because he and his wife have so much while I struggle. I felt like I have been punished for my sins and mistakes within the marriage but not him. Him and his wife have so much, and I struggle to pay my bills, and have little left over to buy food. Therefore, I cant get my kids as much as I like because I don’t have the money to buy food for all of us. When I pray I always hear trust me, focus on me. I’m asking God to help me with that and to trust he has purpose in my pain. I also have asked him to help me to forgive myself and him so that I can move on.

    Your sister in Christ,

    Mimi Gutierrez

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    • Hi Mimi, I’m sorry that you had to go through such a tough season in your life with the divorce and your children. Sometimes it’s hard to see God’s hand in all of it but we must always hold on to the truth that He is with us every step of the way, no matter how dark, how lonely, and how painful those steps may be. I’m so happy that He helped you realize that He was in no way punishing you with the divorce. It makes it even harder when you see your ex-husband having things that you don’t have right now and it’s so important that during this time you stop focusing on them and start focusing on God and the blessings that you do have in your life. Comparison really is the thief of joy and if you spend too much time dwelling on the things that others have that you don’t it will slowly take away any happiness that you still have left.

      I will pray that God will continue comforting you during this time as you trust Him with the path He is leading you on and that He’ll help you remain strong and joyful in Him knowing that with Him there is nothing you cannot handle that will come your way. And that you will forgive yourself and your ex-husband for the past and not allow it to keep you in bondage and in pain any longer. With Christ you can heal from the past, be free from any chains of un-forgiveness and regret, and move on to a fresh new start. May you have all that and so much more with Him. Be blessed!

      Liked by 1 person

    • Mimi, I’ve just found your post. I noticed the date, June, last year. I really hope that your life is brighter and that your wounds are healing one year on. You have been so strong to cope with such severe pain. Keep strong, you’re never alone. You’re on my prayer list. Maria.

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