“I don’t want to be like my dad”

BAGGAGEYesterday was father’s day and for some people it was a day filled with joy as they celebrated their fathers and remembered the many ways they had influenced and blessed their lives.

For me personally, I was blessed with an incredible dad who taught me more than just how to ride my bike but how to live life and serve God.

He inspires me daily through the way he sacrifices his time to serve his family and church in any way that he can.

If he’s not building or fixing something around the house then he’s busy visiting sick people from church not because it’s part of his elder duties but because it’s always been a part of his servant heart.

He is a perfect example of what a man of integrity, a man of character, and a man of God is.

God has blessed me with not just a perfect Father in Heaven (Him) but also an amazing one here on earth which I will be forever grateful for.

But for many people that is not the case.

Father’s day is a sad or bitter day of reflecting on a dad that was absent from their life, a dad that was no hero in their eyes growing up, a dad that may have left them feeling neglected and un-loved.

A dad that never taught them how to catch a fish, ride a bike, or live life.

A dad that never gave them a kiss or said “I love you” before tucking them in bed at night.

A dad that never showed them what it meant to live for Christ.

And they grow up with only one hope, and dream, and prayer in mind – “God, please help me never become like my dad.”

They live in a constant fear of one day waking up and realizing that they are repeating history.

That when they look in the mirror they are reflecting all of those traits they have been running from all their life.

That just like the saying goes “the apple doesn’t fall from the tree” , they will realize that they didn’t fall far from theirs.

This can be true for both mother’s and father’s.

Each one plays a significant role in influencing us and shaping us for the rest of our lives and if they were not the wise and loving parents and example that they should have been we spend our lives trying to make sure we become anything but them.

We carry baggage, insecurities, and resentment with us wherever we go and blame them for our shortcomings, our issues, and our shame.

And we forget that we have another father who loves us.

A father that will teach us how to live a righteous life.

A father that will take all of our insecurities, issues, and shame away.

Yes, we are born with our parent’s DNA.

We look like them, we can act like them , and we have personality traits like them, but we don’t have to BE them.

Because when you become a Christian you are born again.

This means that even though your physical DNA does not change, your spiritual DNA does.

You are no longer just the daughter or son of an earthly father, you are now a daughter or son of a heavenly father and this is the father who you now reflect.

He is the Father whose footsteps you will walk in.

Not your earthly father’s.

Or your earthly mother’s.

You don’t have to live a life of fear of becoming someone you never want to be because God put a new nature in you: His.

And it doesn’t matter what kind of family you come from, how you were raised, or what kind of background you have, once He adopts you into His family you are no longer constrained to repeat the mistakes of your mother and father.

You are no longer enslaved to a generational curse or sin that you fear.

You won’t spend your life worrying about becoming like your parents because all you will care about is becoming more like Him.

You will leave your baggage of hurt, of bitterness, of shame at the foot of the cross and walk freely with Him.

You will allow Him to help you heal from any unresolved issues from the past and walk with hope and joy into the future knowing that He’ll help you become all you want to be.

Today, no matter what your earthly father is like, whether he is still the hero of your childhood memories or someone you can’t think about without feeling pain remember that you have a Father that loves you beyond anything that you can imagine and He is there to hold your hand and to lead you on a new path with Him.

He has adopted you into His own family.

Don’t be scared of repeating the past and becoming someone you don’t ever want to be.

You have His DNA now.

Live your life to reflect Him.

Be blessed and never forget whose child you are!-Anna…

“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!”  –1 John 3:1

photo credit: [Anne Puhlmann] via flickr

18 thoughts on ““I don’t want to be like my dad”

  1. Sounds like you have an awesome dad. What a blessings and legacy. Mine was more like the other kind, but as you said, But our past belongs to God (2 Cor.5:17). Hanging on to it is carrying stolen property. I have my heavenly Dad’s DNA now. I want to be just like Him!


  2. Your earthly father sounds like a true blessing and your wisdom for those who have or had a less than loving earthly father is clear. Never thought of having His DNA before. Nice!


    • Hi Denise, I am very fortunate to have a great, godly father and role model! I guess having God’s DNA may be a unique concept but we are made in His image so I certainly like it (and think it fits) 😉 Hope you have a blessed day!


  3. Oh this is so good and so needed in our society today. We are not bound to the past. We can break every generational curse that our families have cast upon us. But the key to this is forgiving those who hurt us. Not for their sakes but for ours. Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the power to change it sets both us and our parents free.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I was just thinking, “I sound just like my mom when I’m frustrated.” Thankful for redemption and grace he pours out. The blame-game is so easy to fall into; playing the victim is an easy way out. There’s so much joy in owning up to our own choices and experiencing the freedom found in the gospel.
    I love keeping up with your blog Anna!


    • The blame-game really is easy to play as it takes away our responsibility to act different than those who came before us but with Christ we have no excuse to walk in our old ways of life and thinking. We can embrace our life and who we are and grow in our character to be more like Him. 🙂 Hope you have a blessed day Kelly!


  5. Anna this is such a wonderful post for Father’s Day! I used to have those worries so much before I became born again and it’s so amazing the freedom you feel when you leave it all behind and begin to walk with Jesus! (:


    • Thanks Yuliya. Yes… the freedom we find in Christ is so incredible! He takes all of our burdens and baggage and helps us walk without worry with Him. We are so blessed to have Him as our Heavenly Father to always take care of all of our needs!


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