Ignored, unloved, and not wanted

when you feel unwanted, when you feel unloved, loved by God, feeling unloved, feeling unwantedShe knew that he never chose to be with her and yet every morning she woke up dreaming and praying that maybe he would love her the way that she loved him.

She longed for him to look her deep in the eyes and call her beautiful.

She wished late at night he would choose to walk under the starts with her and listen to her heart.

She prayed that he would grow to see her worth each passing day until one day he couldn’t imagine a day without her.

And yet every day remained the same.

No matter how hard she tried to please him she was never good enough.

He would pass her by without giving her a second glance

She felt invisible.



And unloved.

Not by a total stranger, but by her own husband.

And this is the story of Leah, the forgotten wife who would have done anything to win the love of Jacob.

Have you ever been in her shoes?

Have you ever had that person in your life that you looked up to, that you loved, that you would do anything to please and yet they never return that affection back?

No matter how hard you try and no matter what you do that person just doesn’t care about you the way you want them to.

You would move the starts and moon and sun for them, swim oceans, and climb mountains just to show them how much they mean to you.

But what you do is never good enough.

If you’re lucky they might acknowledge your existence, but they will never love you.

This doesn’t have to be the case for just romantic relationships.

It could be the case for the boss that you always try to meet the expectations of, but you never do.

It could be the case for the parent that you want to make proud, but no matter how hard you try you never do.

It could be the case for the group of people that you try please and yet they still don’t accept you.

You think “I’ll just do this one thing and they will surely see my value” just like Leah thought “I will just have one more child with Jacob and he will love me”.

But that love and acceptance never comes.

Leah felt unseen by her husband in every way.

She was not the beautiful one, Rachel was, so it was understandable why he would pass her by so easily.

But even though she was not seen by Jacob, she was seen by God.

God saw that Leah was unloved (Genesis 29:31) so He helped her conceive a son who she named Reuben and said “because the Lord has seen my misery” and she thought Jacob would love her then.

But he didn’t.

Leah felt unheard by Jacob.

He never took the time to sit down with her and talk to her about how she felt.

He didn’t care about her emotions and what she was going through.

But God did.

So He helped her conceive another son who she names Simeon and said because the Lord heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.

Leah felt like Jacob could have cared less about what happened to her.

He took care of her because he had no choice but to but he had no desire to know her deeper and become attached to her like a husband and wife naturally do.

But God did.

He cared about her tears and about her fears and He wanted nothing more than for her to know her worth to Him.

So He helped her conceive a third child whom she named Levi saying “now at last my husband will become attached to me.”

But that attachment never came.

No matter how many children she conceived she still remained the unloved, the ignored, the unwanted one.

And it took having the fourth son for her to say something she has never said before.

She said “this time I will praise the Lord”. (Genesis 29:35)

It took some time but even though she was still left alone by Jacob her story ended with joy because she finally realized that her fulfillment wouldn’t come from the love of her husband, but from God.

That she had the One who loved her, who saw her, who heard her, and who provided for her next to her all along.

Even when her husband didn’t.

She didn’t need the love of Jacob to give her worth.

She already had the love of her Almighty Father.

Sometimes we put such a high priority on being accepted and loved by others and when we don’t get the response we long for we feel rejected and depressed.

I know I’ve felt like Leah many times before.

Like second best.

Overlooked and unwanted.

Not able to measure up.

Wondering if that person in my life would ever see my worth.

And when I realized I was still left standing alone it was like a big glaring sign in my life proclaiming “Anna, you will never be good enough, don’t even try anymore.

Sometimes I wonder if God allows us to be in situations where we feel unloved by one person (or a group of people) to show us that it doesn’t matter who doesn’t accept us, who doesn’t care about us, and who rejects us because He always will.

And that unlike all of the people whose love we try to earn by effort and good deeds, He gives His love away freely.

That it doesn’t matter what your mother or father, your boss or leader, your friend or someone from the opposite sex thinks of you, God will always think the world of you.

Maybe when you wake up in the morning you still feel like the unwanted one.

But today I want to remind you that you will ALWAYS be wanted by God.

To Him you are a precious jewel, a priceless treasure, and what any human thinks of you will never diminish your worth.

If you are tired of waiting for your “Jacob” to love you then don’t waste time waiting no more.

Instead spend time praising the One who adored you all along.

He will heal your wounded heart.

He will satisfy your deepest need.

And He will show you how loved you really are.

Be blessed and never forget your worth in Christ. -Anna… ♥

“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:8

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38 thoughts on “Ignored, unloved, and not wanted

  1. Ah, Anna. I am weeping reading this. I’ve read this story a thousand times, even taught this passage in a similar way about feeling rejected. But tonight…tonight He knew I needed your words, words you wrote several years ago that are alive and healing right now on this chilly evening in 2017. I have been working for an employer for nearly 20 years who is impossible to please, no matter how deep the sacrifice. Hundreds of people have quit but I’ve “stuck it out,” in hopes of change. In my younger years I imagined they would come to the Lord one day, and become generous or loving. Perhaps that will happen, but not yet. Today after receiving the silent treatment for nearly a month for reasons I am clueless to, I was so downcast and discouraged. I was trying to read a Spurgeon post and stumbled across your blog. The words you spoke felt like the Holy Spirit speaking directly to me. You even used “that boss” as your example…thank you Lord for your encouragement through this dear sister, and bless her for being your vessel.


  2. I smile whenever i see your email in my inbox. Your posts are so on point and always challenge me to do better. I came to know you when i was at my lowest point in life and your posts gave me hope and strength to hold on to God. Just know your posts are reaching everywhere and touching , changing and inspiring broken hearts all over the world. It was a divine connection personally to come across your blog. I thank God for you from the bottom of my heart, Hope to meet you one day. Thank you so much Anna. May God bless you abundantly as you have blessed me to


    • Wow. Reading your words brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for reaching out to me through e-mail and on here! I’m so happy that we got to connect and that what God has put on my heart has been encouraging to you. ♥ I pray that you will continue walking strong on all the roads He calls you to! Have a lovely weekend!


  3. This is beautifully well-put! I really appreciate all your blogs! Your words are sometimes the only source of hope I cling to….When I’m barely hanging on, God has a way of speaking through different people….so from all of us broken people, thank you!


    • Thank you Grace! You don’t know how encouraging that is to hear. I’m glad God puts the right words on my heart to bless others with (because they certainly don’t come from me alone!) May you continue to walk faithfully with Him through all the paths He leads you on! Be blessed!


  4. Thank you Anna for putting into words so many things that I could not have stated so concisely…I am in the midst of separating from my husband of 21 years because of many years (decades) of the very things Leah longed for. I am seeking God for strength each step of the way…love, Andrea


  5. Anna…….what a powerful post!!! Our self worth is not found in a “person”. God says He loves us and cares for us and thinks we are important and that is what matters…..what you shared about Leah was so deep. I was so impacted by this post. God bless you Anna and please have a great weekend! 🙂



    • Thanks Rolain! And yes, the only “person” our worth is found in is Christ, and no-one else! That searching and longing we have in our hearts to find our worth in someone is not so we can run to people for it but so that we can run to Him. I’m glad Leah eventually found her’s in Him, instead of in Jacob. May we all do the same! Hope you have a blessed day!

      Liked by 1 person

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