She longed for him to look her deep in the eyes and call her beautiful.
She wished late at night he would choose to walk under the starts with her and listen to her heart.
She prayed that he would grow to see her worth each passing day until one day he couldn’t imagine a day without her.
And yet every day remained the same.
No matter how hard she tried to please him she was never good enough.
He would pass her by without giving her a second glance
She felt invisible.
Not by a total stranger, but by her own husband.
And this is the story of Leah, the forgotten wife who would have done anything to win the love of Jacob.
Have you ever been in her shoes?
Have you ever had that person in your life that you looked up to, that you loved, that you would do anything to please and yet they never return that affection back?
No matter how hard you try and no matter what you do that person just doesn’t care about you the way you want them to.
You would move the starts and moon and sun for them, swim oceans, and climb mountains just to show them how much they mean to you.
But what you do is never good enough.
If you’re lucky they might acknowledge your existence, but they will never love you.
This doesn’t have to be the case for just romantic relationships.
It could be the case for the boss that you always try to meet the expectations of, but you never do.
It could be the case for the parent that you want to make proud, but no matter how hard you try you never do.
It could be the case for the group of people that you try please and yet they still don’t accept you.
You think “I’ll just do this one thing and they will surely see my value” just like Leah thought “I will just have one more child with Jacob and he will love me”.
But that love and acceptance never comes.
Leah felt unseen by her husband in every way.
She was not the beautiful one, Rachel was, so it was understandable why he would pass her by so easily.
But even though she was not seen by Jacob, she was seen by God.
God saw that Leah was unloved (Genesis 29:31) so He helped her conceive a son who she named Reuben and said “because the Lord has seen my misery” and she thought Jacob would love her then.
But he didn’t.
Leah felt unheard by Jacob.
He never took the time to sit down with her and talk to her about how she felt.
He didn’t care about her emotions and what she was going through.
But God did.
So He helped her conceive another son who she names Simeon and said “because the Lord heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.”
Leah felt like Jacob could have cared less about what happened to her.
He took care of her because he had no choice but to but he had no desire to know her deeper and become attached to her like a husband and wife naturally do.
But God did.
He cared about her tears and about her fears and He wanted nothing more than for her to know her worth to Him.
So He helped her conceive a third child whom she named Levi saying “now at last my husband will become attached to me.”
But that attachment never came.
No matter how many children she conceived she still remained the unloved, the ignored, the unwanted one.
And it took having the fourth son for her to say something she has never said before.
She said “this time I will praise the Lord”. (Genesis 29:35)
It took some time but even though she was still left alone by Jacob her story ended with joy because she finally realized that her fulfillment wouldn’t come from the love of her husband, but from God.
That she had the One who loved her, who saw her, who heard her, and who provided for her next to her all along.
Even when her husband didn’t.
She didn’t need the love of Jacob to give her worth.
She already had the love of her Almighty Father.
Sometimes we put such a high priority on being accepted and loved by others and when we don’t get the response we long for we feel rejected and depressed.
I know I’ve felt like Leah many times before.
Like second best.
Overlooked and unwanted.
Not able to measure up.
Wondering if that person in my life would ever see my worth.
And when I realized I was still left standing alone it was like a big glaring sign in my life proclaiming “Anna, you will never be good enough, don’t even try anymore.”
Sometimes I wonder if God allows us to be in situations where we feel unloved by one person (or a group of people) to show us that it doesn’t matter who doesn’t accept us, who doesn’t care about us, and who rejects us because He always will.
And that unlike all of the people whose love we try to earn by effort and good deeds, He gives His love away freely.
That it doesn’t matter what your mother or father, your boss or leader, your friend or someone from the opposite sex thinks of you, God will always think the world of you.
Maybe when you wake up in the morning you still feel like the unwanted one.
But today I want to remind you that you will ALWAYS be wanted by God.
To Him you are a precious jewel, a priceless treasure, and what any human thinks of you will never diminish your worth.
If you are tired of waiting for your “Jacob” to love you then don’t waste time waiting no more.
Instead spend time praising the One who adored you all along.
He will heal your wounded heart.
He will satisfy your deepest need.
And He will show you how loved you really are.
Be blessed and never forget your worth in Christ. -Anna… ♥
“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:8